Well hello everybody!
You caught a little blurb on March 24, but then I must say that I became a very vacant blogger after that date. It is just a little past midnight here in Perdido Key, FL and my team and I are pulling an all-nighter (coffeeeeeee) to be able to handle our 3AM flight back home. Yay…
I had a bit of a heart-to-heart with my mother yesterday evening about the future. All in all I had my thoughts heard and worries simmered down and my dinner over-cooking itself on the stove-top. So I’m not good at cooking, we all have our weaknesses. Up until now I had a plan, since I was very young I’ve had a plan about how my life would go. And this past week everything that I could’ve imagined my life to have gone has gone down the drain.
The current plan: I’ll marry a rich man and settle.
Haha. I was waiting for my mother to have a long pause followed by a, “what the hell?” comment. Thankfully, I did not receive one. I’m not sure if other parents out there would react with the WTH reaction or the “Orn, you’re confused about your life in general. Just, just stop thinking about it.” reaction. Either way, I was prepared to receive both. Since I was young I always saw myself as being a career oriented person who attends a high-end university and receives an insane university degree. I saw myself either working a high-paying job, or owning a business of my own. My career choices most certainly included a degree in science. Now, in Grade 12 with 2 months to go I am having so many second-thoughts that they’re more like hundred thoughts because that’s how many times I’ve thought about it. I am taking a year-off to work, to travel, but is that even going to be enough time? I don’t even know if I want to go to university, which probably keeps my parents in a mental frenzy. You see, it is not so much that my parents put all that pressure on me to be successful, but society in general puts it that way. Am I a bad human-being for not wanting to be the high-end career woman? Am I a bad citizen for not attempting to further educate myself in a post-secondary institution? The work I’ve had to do to get to this graduating year is ridiculous, I admit, I’m getting lazy. But when you feel like you’ve been doing nothing but running marathons your whole life I guess that feeling is natural. The last 5 years I’ve dedicated my life to one extra-curricular activity that I’m only mediocre in. All of these feelings of regret are kicking in. What did I do with my teenage life?!? Anyways, all of these thoughts and one mother to hear them. Made for an interesting evening. Dinner still burnt.
These thoughts will probably dissipate in the next few months, no worries. Rest assured that whichever path I choose you will not see me working in a fast-food corporation anytime soon.
So yeah, my views on life at the age of seventeen. It’s a gooder. Pardon me while I go take another sip of my Iced Starbucks Coffee. Home awaits, and to be honest I’ve never been more excited to go home.