Breathing Life Back into the Blog

Well hello everybody!

You caught a little blurb on March 24, but then I must say that I became a very vacant blogger after that date. It is just a little past midnight here in Perdido Key, FL and my team and I are pulling an all-nighter (coffeeeeeee) to be able to handle our 3AM flight back home. Yay…

I had a bit of a heart-to-heart with my mother yesterday evening about the future. All in all I had my thoughts heard and worries simmered down and my dinner over-cooking itself on the stove-top. So I’m not good at cooking, we all have our weaknesses. Up until now I had a plan, since I was very young I’ve had a plan about how my life would go. And this past week everything that I could’ve imagined my life to have gone has gone down the drain.

The current plan: I’ll marry a rich man and settle.

Haha. I was waiting for my mother to have a long pause followed by a, “what the hell?” comment. Thankfully, I did not receive one. I’m not sure if other parents out there would react with the WTH reaction or the “Orn, you’re confused about your life in general. Just, just stop thinking about it.” reaction. Either way, I was prepared to receive both. Since I was young I always saw myself as being a career oriented person who attends a high-end university and receives an insane university degree. I saw myself either working a high-paying job, or owning a business of my own. My career choices most certainly included a degree in science. Now, in Grade 12 with 2 months to go I am having so many second-thoughts that they’re more like hundred thoughts because that’s how many times I’ve thought about it. I am taking a year-off to work, to travel, but is that even going to be enough time? I don’t even know if I want to go to university, which probably keeps my parents in a mental frenzy. You see, it is not so much that my parents put all that pressure on me to be successful, but society in general puts it that way. Am I a bad human-being for not wanting to be the high-end career woman? Am I a bad citizen for not attempting to further educate myself in a post-secondary institution? The work I’ve had to do to get to this graduating year is ridiculous, I admit, I’m getting lazy. But when you feel like you’ve been doing nothing but running marathons your whole life I guess that feeling is natural. The last 5 years I’ve dedicated my life to one extra-curricular activity that I’m only mediocre in. All of these feelings of regret are kicking in. What did I do with my teenage life?!? Anyways, all of these thoughts and one mother to hear them. Made for an interesting evening. Dinner still burnt.

These thoughts will probably dissipate in the next few months, no worries. Rest assured that whichever path I choose you will not see me working in a fast-food corporation anytime soon.

So yeah, my views on life at the age of seventeen. It’s a gooder. Pardon me while I go take another sip of my Iced Starbucks Coffee. Home awaits, and to be honest I’ve never been more excited to go home.

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9 thoughts on “Breathing Life Back into the Blog

  1. ashaldaron says:

    As much as leaving advice for a stranger on WordPress feels weird, I can’t resist. Your college based dilemma reminds me very much of myself, only I am looking back on it from the age of 27. I wish I had that part of my life to do over.

    I can honestly say that at this point, my college degree has not helped me one bit in my adult life. My employer doesn’t care, and I have been in my field so long, if I switch jobs, they won’t even check. I can say this as both a fairly successful person, and as an employer of others. Knowledge is the most valuable resource, college is not. I don’t care about a degree when hiring someone, I care that they can do the job.

    Knowledge is power. Learn all you can every day, that will arm you for the future. Spending four years of your life spinning your wheels will only lead to those doubts increasing.

    Go out and figure out what you want to do with your life. Make a plan to achieve it, and go for it. If that plan includes college, awesome. If it doesn’t, pursue it just as hard. If you go, just to meet this nebulous formless pressure from society, you will never be happy. The world is too small to be defined in a class room. Not all who travel are lost.

    • ornblovo says:

      Thank you so much for the advice. At this point, I am definitely taking a breather. I do plan on going to University, just what field and when will be decided later.

  2. Charlotte says:

    Hey! I found your blog while googling, trying to find a blog on adoption from the perspective of the adopter. By total coincidence, it turns out I also know your mom.

    Anyway, I love this entry because I definitely went through the same thoughts, and I don’t think you ever know where life is going to take you. I also took a year off after high school, worked and traveled. What I learned was that the jobs I got were not jobs I wanted to do. The value in education isn’t about money, it’s about bettering yourself. Unlike the above poster, my degree did open up a lot of doors that wouldn’t have been there had I not gone to University. If you’re a passionate person, education really is worthwhile and I don’t regret it at all – I’ve just applied to do more. But you’ll figure it out as you go, and life experience will help you make the right decision. It’s normal in a lot of countries to take a “gap year” and I think it’s important. Life will lead you where you need to go πŸ™‚

    Thanks so much for putting your thoughts out here. I really value the perspective.

    • ornblovo says:

      Hello Charlotte!
      Thanks so much for reading! I think a lot of the stress comes from knowing that I had a plan up until a month ago! Maybe it’s similar to ‘stage fright’. I do plan on attending University, the field that I will apply for and when I will do it though still remains up in the air. Thank you for your input!

      • Charlotte says:

        Don’t worry – if you’re like most of us, your plan will change frequently. I’m not in the career I planned for when I started University, but I still love where I’ve ended up. I think University is as much about figuring yourself out as it is about academics. Things will eventually fall into place. I changed my plan halfway through grade 12, and that plan didn’t work out for me (turns out I’m very bad at chemistry and you need that to go into veterinary medicine). I did a degree in Primatology and now I work in water education. So although my life isn’t how I anticipated it would be, I’m still in a field I passionately love. Follow the things that make you happy, and you’ll get there!

  3. kate says:

    I wish, like you, I’d paused and thought about my future before jumping into it. You sound like you’ve been a dedicated student through your high school years, and taking a year off sounds brilliant. I was a very driven high school student, science geek (Canada Wide Science Fairs every year of senior high), aspirations of steaming through an undergrad degree and straight through to grad school. Then I took my type A self to university on scholarship…in a career field my mother strongly encouraged (but really wasn’t my dream at all). I did very well, was good at the school part, and very good at the career part that followed…and was miserable. So (truly brilliant fool that I was), I decided maybe a graduate degree in the same field would give me more autonomy, money, respect, etc, and make me happy. I finished my masters 6 years ago, and have since again been very good at what I do, but miserable. I am now in a position of being too old (and a mom, with mortgage, etc) to start over with an undergrad degree in a different field, so I’m stuck with what I chose to do some almost 20 years ago.

    My point is this: University is absolutely fantastic – education will never go to waste, and uni is about more than just getting an education; it’s really a journey that marks the end of one part of your life and starts the next (you don’t need uni for this, but it certainly is a wonderful way to do it if you’re remotely that way inclined). Taking a year to breathe, think about your options, recoup some energy and see the world, in my opinion, should be a mandatory prerequisite for university. I know many, many people who climbed on the wrong educational train and don’t love the destination. As for dedicating your high school years to one extra-curricular activity and feeling that you’ve been mediocre at it – depends on your measure of success. Did you have fun? Meet interesting people? Enjoy the challenges? If yes, then maybe you were very successful at it.

    Good luck in your journey over the next year or two, enjoy the adventure of figuring out who you really want to be.

    • ornblovo says:

      Hi Kate!
      Thank you for your advice. I am not sure what I want to do yet as far as a field of study, but I think that is where all my stress is. I do not want to start something that I will not finish. My year off, I will definitely be using to take a breather. I couldn’t imagine it being any other way.
      As far as my dedication to my sport-I am proud to have been brought up with their values. I guess had I not gone into this sport, I would have been just as involved with something else and feeling the same way. C’est la vie! But I certainly agree with you, looking at it from a different perspective, I was incredibly successful with it.
      Thank you for reading!

  4. Seraphinalina says:

    I thought I’d leave my two cents. There is a sewing blogger who is a high school teacher, and she suggested students write to their future self and for those of us not in high school writing a letter to our 17 year old self. http://hungryzombiecouture.blogspot.ca/2011/07/dear-clueless-youngster.html This reminds me of that post.

    All of your thoughts on school and a degree and a future are fantastic. It is good to sort out where your passions are and where you want to go in life. But not to the point where you walk past doors that maybe would be more suited to you and didn’t even know about when you came up with that plan.

    When I went to univeristy, I knew I was a social science kind of person. I loved my geography classes best in high school, but I also liked French and music and well, I can’t say I liked math or science but I was a trooper to keep doors open. But there were so many avenues of study in univerisity I didn’t really know anything about. Out of my 10 first year classes, 3 were geography, 2 psychology, music, French, Spanish, geology, and English. It was a chance to see what worked and what didn’t and it was pretty clear a degree in music or French was out. I stuck with geography (with a minor in Canadian Studies that let me take a range of subjects with the theme being Canada) but it wasn’t until I was done that I realized I’m a social geographer at heart, not a trees and glaciers kind of geographer. But it took time to see the pattern and I did enjoy the journey. Post-secondary education is about far more than the sum of your course work.

    I will be honest, you don’t see a lot of jobs out there with geography degree as a requirement. Most people assumed I wanted to be a teacher. It took some time to find my first job, and then my second job when I outgrew the first. But I am applying my spatial analysis skills focusing on consumers (fitting to my social geographer leanings) and I’ve made it work. I have many transferable skills most people don’t associate with geography.

    I was a bit of the opposite of you, so slow to come up with a plan for my life because it always felt like I didn’t know what the options were going to be, like telling someone carved it in stone. Don’t be afraid to make plans and dreams and also don’t be afraid to change them. That is life. Changing is not saying you failed or anything negative at all, it’s just change. I think change can be scary and exciting, you have to be brave to take that first step. Taking some time to sort things out, to grow, to just see what’s out there is a good idea. Sounds like you could use some time to catch your breath.

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